All Posts by Alp

If you can top this story, I’m going to feature you to my email list. You think weird stuff happens in your country? I bet it won’t hold a candle to what I saw in a local newspaper: Apparently, one of Turkey’s largest lakes, Lake Burdur, went… missing. Well, kinda. It has lost one third of its water in […]

There is this pernicious myth in online business that you need to live somewhere exotic (and do “bucket list” things) to write interesting emails. Emails that don’t get deleted because they look like everyone else’s… Emails that get read and bought from… Even professional copywriters seem to believe this lie. For example, one of the students in my Email […]

I have the stone heart of a gargoyle but this melted even mine: “Today, all of my friends showed up an hour late for my 18th birthday party because they decided to go get dinner without me.” Poor guy! OK, Rescue Friday. Fasten your seatbelt, switch on the sirens, and slam your foot on the gas pedal. We’re going in […]

I recently got roped into a discussion about selling in the “PS”. Specifically, whether you should put the call-to-action and sales page link in the “PS” because it sounds less sleazy. Here is my unfiltered take on it: To my mind, it makes very little sense to do this. When you go to the hospital and you are in […]

Someone please explain this female mystery to me: Why does the fairer gender keep sixteen pairs of shoes under their desk? Back when I was a lawyer, I observed this strange phenomenon every time I walked into a female colleague’s office – without fail, across three jurisdictions, in 11 different countries. It boggles the (male) mind. So I experienced […]

I wish I could be more passive-aggressive. Secretly, I yearn to develop an acidic wit to melt away stupidity and scour it off the face of the earth. Until that day, I suppose I’ll have to content myself with reading other people’s fits of enraged brilliance. Such as this note taped to a vending machine at a Fortune […]

Do you have any pet peeves? Of course you do. I should have asked, “Will you run out of fingers before you can count them all?” Well, I’ll raise you one. I’m with Whoopi Goldberg on this: I don’t have pet peeves like some people. I have whole kennels of irritation. And my biggest, scariest, most menacing, snarling dog of […]

​Saw this on a site called notalwaysright today: === (At the self checkout, a customer is waving a lime over the scanner.) Customer: “Why isn’t my lime scanning?” Employee: “Produce items don’t have barcodes on them, ma’am.” Customer: “So?” Employee: *facepalm* === Ha! But I can do one better. This actually happened last month. It was one of those instances where you go, “The universe does have a sense […]

Witnessed the most hilarious office feud while surfing the web today. Me loves those funny (if not necessarily “passive-aggressive”) notes from pissed off Brits. Harry, the guy who posted the image below, says this little scene was the culmination of “a classic washing-up feud” at his office in London:Kind of adorable, right? I would *so* watch a movie […]

​I swear my sister’s dog was  an online entrepreneur in a previous life. You see, I was visiting family this weekend. Went to my sister’s house. The whole time I’m there, the dog ignores me. (Snob.) Then the moment I start doing pushups, my sister’s 35kg dog decides it’s her cue to come sit on me. The same thing […]