Four milk bottles and a sales email walk into a bar…

Witnessed the most hilarious office feud while surfing the web today.

Me loves those funny (if not necessarily “passive-aggressive”) notes from pissed off Brits.

Harry, the guy who posted the image below, says this little scene was the culmination of “a classic washing-up feud” at his office in London:

Kind of adorable, right?

I would *so* watch a movie about anthropomorphic milk bottles with British accents.

Hopefully coming soon, from Pixar…

But did you notice something odd in that photo?

See how the only one with visibly different handwriting is ALSO the only one without a lid?

Hmm.

Dairy suspicious indeed…

(But then again, I find all dairy suspicious.)

Now I can already hear you chuckling, “Alp you’re milking it for all it’s worth again! Udderly fantastic. I am cowed!”

Of course, but emails are butter that way, don’t you think? Makes the puns spread.

Seriously though…

Someone in that office should go udder-cover to find out what happened. I’m sure some time spent casein the joint will turn up an answer.

Also, my new go-to insult:

Lazy-bottle-dumper.

Now, let’s stop drooling over other people’s udderly passive-aggressive notes, and get down to business:

You don’t have to be a naturally funny or witty person to write emails like this. In fact, you don’t even have to lead an interesting life.

There *is* a way to tap into the collective wit of smartasses everywhere, and milk it for profit.

In fact, I used the “STUCK! S.O.S.” template in the Email Reliquary to write this very email.

Here is a glimpse of what you’ll discover when the rescue team arrives:

My go-to recipe to whip out a fun email when you are pressed for time and can’t think of anything to write
How to “jump start” the engine when you are at a creative low
5 secret (free) websites that have all the fodder you’ll ever need to write entertaining emails - especially on those days where you can’t think of anything interesting that happened to you personally.

Now go milk the Email Reliquary and start whipping out your own udderly fantastic emails:

PS: What a show-off, that clean one.