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So lazy, it’s funny

By Alp | List-building

On a scale of 1 to -1, just how bad is this opening line:

If, like me, you’re trying to suppress a chuckle (because NSFW), and you have a history of uncontrollably snorting, then QUICK! Do this:

Stare up at your left eyebrow.

.

Hmm. Maybe that doesn’t actually work. #dont

Anyway...

It’s January, and my spidey senses tell me you’ve been naughty.

You bought a sh*it-ton (equivalent to 24 metric loads) of stuff to finally grow your audience, launch a product and get rich this year.

And if you’re ambitious, you might have even implemented them (gasp).

Because, provided that you’re getting the right people onto your email list, more subscribers = more money. Right?

But there is a flaw in that plan.

What’s the last thing those people will see before they become subscribers?

Yes, exactly.

And what the first thing they’ll see on THAT page (Which Must Not Be Named)?

Hopefully, a really catchy title that makes people want it and opt in in the first place.

(Ha! It’s 10 seconds in and we’re already seeing double. We must be having fun.)

But more likely… what they see is the marketing equivalent of #tindernightmares.

Doesn’t have to be so. The solution is here.

Here is the catch though:

This fairy-tale solution is going the way of Cinderella’s carriage on Monday.

Evil Stepmother stepped in and she’s dead set on making some changes:

First, she informed me that she will be raising prices. I’m told she finds it ridiculous that almost every customer who finished the training emails in to tell us that we’re undercharging.

So FAST50 will be going up in the world. Even the Starter Edition is picking up its skirts and jumping across the puddle from $97 to $297.

Second, Evil Stepmother will be introducing a dainty little entry-level offer to fill the gaping hole left by its nouveau riche sister, FAST50.

The debutante product that she’s introducing into polite society?

It’s called Hook, Line and Subscriber and it will be available for purchase in Feb, but you can get it for free… read on for more.

Hook, Line and Subscriber gives you 50 opt-in hooks that work for every industry that I’ve never shared publicly before.

It can (and WILL) allow you to grab people by the eyeballs and lead them into your email list without tweaking the language thousands of times (even if you’ve never written marketing copy before and you feel like a baby deer trying to walk for the first time).

That said, here’s the fine print:

If you want to access Hook, Line and Subscriber for free, you gotta jump on that jet and fly to FAST50 and join before Monday (Jan 22nd).

Once the Monday blues hit, you will have to buy Hook, Line and Subscriber like a regular person.

See you inside FAST50!